
A spare bedroom, a poem by Alex:
A spare bedroom.
Semi-retirement, some spare time and energy.
In the marvellous film, The Quiet Girl (from the book ‘Foster’ by Claire Keegan) we saw how a few weeks, a couple of months, of ordinary, simple human kindness suggested the possibility of really making a difference to another person’s life.
“So, let’s give it ago, in our house”.
And our first experience of fostering?
We learned a lot, did and gave what we could and got so much more back.
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We decided to give it a go for several reasons; we had two spare rooms, a little time to give as a couple and greatly admired two people who had given respite to young people in care.
We were apprehensive, unsure if we could do it, wondering if we were too old.
It was interesting from the start, we found the training fascinating, to think about our own parenting and childhoods, and we enjoyed working together.
Our social worker introduced us slowly and we started by giving respite care to two young children. It went well. We felt surer of what we had to offer and were full of admiration for their curiosity, energy and fun. The joy they had for life.
We then were asked to provide foster care to a 14-year-old boy. We were more apprehensive but decided to give it a go.
From the minute we met, we all got on. It has been a total joy to share our home with this teenager. Before we met, I had thought we would provide stability, consistency and safety and be challenged by emotional behaviour – that was a misconception.
We have learnt so much from this lively, inquisitive and bright young person. He was always ready to try new things, share his views on the world, and discuss ideas with us.
We found our cats gave him huge solace, also the time spent together on walks and sharing domestic tasks gave space to share stories and memories from the past – an important story for us to listen to.
We provided two months emergency foster care while a long-term placement was found. Those eight weeks flew by, and we feel privileged to have got to know and care for this wonderful, curious, capable, friendly, sociable, kind, helpful and compassionate boy who is hopeful for his future.
We always felt supported by a great team of social workers, teachers and an amazing young male mentor who all provided a supportive belief in a positive future.
Saying goodbye was hard, and we will provide respite when needed.
Being a foster carer is more than rewarding – it is deeply fulfilling, full of new learning and surprises, challenging your own preconceptions about children in care.
It has been a really important step in our own life and we discovered strengths we hadn’t recognised or necessarily valued.
We wholeheartedly encourage anyone who can give their time, has a home with a little space, and is interested in trying something new to give it a go.
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If you’re one of our foster carers and you’re thinking about recommending someone to become a foster carer, you will now get £500 when they foster with Bristol City Council – double the previous rate! Find out more about our Refer a Friend scheme on the Fostering Bristol website.
We have also recently increased our allowances for foster carers, and you can now get up to £466 a week. If you are interested in becoming a foster carer, you can get in touch with Fostering Bristol for an informal chat on 0117 353 4200 or you can visit www.bristol.gov.uk/foster.
Alternatively, if you are interested in fostering but not ready to take the step yet, there are other ways you can get involved.
Reconstruct provide an independent visiting service for children in care. This service finds volunteers who can commit two to three hours a month and then matches them with children and young people, aged 8-18, to take them out to do activities, such as going to the cinema, bowling, enjoying a meal, playing football, etc.
They are always seeking volunteers and are particularly keen to hear from men and people aged 25-50. Express an interest by contacting Reconstruct on recruitment@antser.com.